"Captain Insano shows No Mercy..."

Bobby Boucher is my inspiration always :D He's how I want to solve all my problems.

Unfortunately tackling someone out of rage is frowned upon...maybe.

I've been thinking about strength lately. Only because I've come to regain my own strength when I thought I didn't have to. Things that have been going on lately, I let my guard down. What happens when I do that? I get hurt. Also, I've been explaining myself a lot and don't understand why. It probably has to do with my job making us read a book for team building for the last 8 months and truly, it's so stupid. BUT apparently it's resonating and I hate it. My heart isn't hardened or bitter, I just know how to see my surroundings and cautiously tread water to see where I can find my footing. Lately, I'm just a stupid kid trying not to drown in a pool with a lifeguard looking at me like I'm the dumbest girl to just impulsively jump when I don't know what I'm doing. That's been me lately. I've forgotten how to guard my heart and be strong when I'm hurt or upset, or just side-eyed. I pulled it together the last couple of days and I feel better. I am strong, not always but I am. I just chose not be for a month and I realized I can't do that. People cant handle weakness from a person who is strong all the time. That's ok. We need to be weak by ourselves so we don't weaken others because we cant afford to do that - our nature is to encourage and lift others up to a point where they excel to their full potential. Leaders. There's strength in bitterness, but that is strength for oneself not others. There's strength in a façade, but it won't last long. There's strength in a follower, but how far will you follow until you realize you followed in the wrong direction?

What is strength?

Definition: the quality or state of being physically strong.

Emotional Strength? the ability to respond in an open and vulnerable way in the face of intense emotional experience, feeling one's way deeper into the emotion which allows access to implicit functional processes driving action.

- It's about how a person dals with obstacles and recover from them, rather than how they react in any given situation.

Mental Strength? the cognitive and emotional skill of reframing negative thoughts and adverse circumstances...It helps us resist both internal and external influences that weaken our self-confidence an well-being

Strength...

Strength comes from the times you pulled your life together making sure you survived while putting your depression aside to keep going

Strength comes from where you used to be and wonder how you even got by, how you kept your job, how you kept your house together

Strength comes from breaking all the way down because you have no other feelings left to feel. So you cry, you feel hopeless, and you just sit there and wait until you stop. Until you get up and say, "that's enough".

Strength comes from your children. When they're up all night crying and you're half asleep trying to make sure they have all they need, then wake up 3 hours later for work. You get through the day and don't even know how you did it.

Strength comes from the times you’re trying to eat dinner but your babies are sick or so sad they need you to comfort them first. When you don't eat so they can feel your love.

Or when they aren't sick or sad and sit on your lap while you’re trying to cut a steak or while they’re picking at your food with the knife they aren’t supposed to use or where they just want your salad and you can’t take a bite until they eat your food first. Mental Strength? Sure.

Strength comes from your kids who seem spoiled but they show so much love, they feel like they can’t breathe without you, they smother and hang on your neck like they will die if they let go

Strength comes from a hardened heart you are trying to soften from the lies you were told or the secrets that were kept.

Strength comes from the back and forth emotions you got when you thought you were okay and the storm came like a tsunami and you just kept going after it hit you.

Strength comes from the shocking grief you got when they passed away and didn’t think it would actually happen or when you had so much faith you would will them back to health

Strength comes from the lines you drew in the sand to keep your heart safe but erased them to give another chance, again and again.

Strength is the roar that burns in your spirit. The tremble in your loins that's waiting to be unleashed. The force that keeps you walking forward and keeps you sane and focused. The tension in your veins that give you the vision to make it happen. Strength.

Yes, my strength come from the Lord. But the way the Lord creates a human - makes one think, what a magnificent being we truly are. How superior we are. We each have strength, it's just in different areas. One is mentally strong and another is emotionally strong. Are we strong enough to say no? Are we strong enough to tell the truth when it's really hard to. Are we strong enough to have courage when we don't want to? Are we strong enough to pull our feet through the muddy trenches to get to our destination? Are we strong enough to be humbled? Are we strong enough to be stronger?